Into the unknown

It's been almost two months since my last post! How time flies...

Nothing much has been going on. Work and school have taken over my life, which is fine. I like being busy, and I'm doing really well at CSU so far. I have A's in all of my classes so far, so hopefully that continues!

I'm feeling a lot better, now that I've had my freak out. Wednesday night I treated myself to a movie, but then broke down when I got home and cried out some of the frustration and sadness I've been feeling over the past year. I feel more like myself now, and I've decided that I'm not going to use what has happened to me regarding my parents as a crutch anymore.

I think I'm going to try and take up a few more hobbies, if I have time. I told Michi that I want to start taking singing lessons again, which is true. I also want to look into doing some horseback riding again, or maybe I'll find something completely new! I want to start yoga and meditation again, as well. I don't know where I'm going to find the time to do this, but I will find a way! Maybe I will be able to make some new friends along the way.

I think I'm going to take up my entry title as one of my two personal mantras. I'm tired of being unhappy with myself, and I will start to remember that I can choose how I feel each day.

Anyway, Shannon found this 30 day meme relating to Resident Evil that she wants me to post. Hopefully it will encourage me to post more often, since I have been really bad about that during the past few years.

( 30 day meme! )

Last night was our annual New Year's Eve formal dinner and party. I was originally planning on going to just the dinner (and it took me forever to find a dress for the occasion), but Kira, Anna and Ana convinced me to go to the party, as well. Their argument was that it was such a waste to buy a dress and just go to dinner.

It felt really nice dressing up and feeling all feminine, since I never really get any opportunities to do that. Work is always dressy casual, so I end up wearing black pants and a nice shirt most days. But anyway, last night Anna and Andie ended up curling my hair, and Ana was kind enough to do my makeup for me (apparently I pull off the pinup eye look quite well). Shannon and I carpooled to Mt. Fuji's, which is where we had dinner. The service was fantastic compared to what we had at Suh's last year. I ended up sitting at Jake's end of the table again, which was funny. We didn't get out of the restaurant until close to 10:00, though.

After dinner it was on to the party. I spent most of it talking with Ana, Jake and Nic, since they were some of the only people I knew there. I felt kind of sad following them around like a lost puppy, but they didn't seem to mind it.

And of course, we celebrated the New Year with kisses. I got kissed three or four times, which I'm amazed by. This is the first time I've ever been kissed on New Year's, so that made me incredibly happy. I know that it's not really a big deal, but I'm still excited about it. I guess that I'm making up for lost time. The girl that I carpooled with wanted to leave right after midnight, so I had to take her home. That was a shame, since I did actually want to stay at the party and hang out, talk and dance. Oh well; next year will be my time, hopefully.

I did almost cry last night when I got home, due to the fact that this is the first New Year without my mother. But, I was able to get through it after a little bit.

I hope that everyone who did celebrate last night got home safe and sound.

Wow. Hi there, LJ. Been a while. Over 2 1/2 months since I last posted anything on here.

A lot of stuff has happened since October 12th. I finished up all of the classes I need to get my AA, though I'm technically graduating in the spring. My birthday came and went in November, which was fun. Thanksgiving was also a nice time. December 3rd happened, along with December 8th. hyper_amychao's birthday, the Solstice Party, and Christmas also happened.

My birthday was a lot of fun this year. A bunch of my friends ended up going to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, then Pappadeaux for dinner. There ended up being about 12 of us altogether, so it was quite a big group. My sister's birthday was also on October 30th, so I ended up going to the party she had. I met her boyfriend for the first time, and a bunch of her friends from school.

hyper_amychao had her birthday on December 5th, which ended up being a lot more relaxed than mine. A few of us went to Old C's and had dinner, just chilling for the majority of it.

Christmas was nice this year. My dad, sister and I ended up going out to Brush Christmas Day, which was the first time I'd been back there since my grandmother passed away four or five years ago. The Solstice party was also a good time; we ended up watching really bad movies and having large amounts of Puppy Chow. <3

Nothing really notable in my acquisitions this year, but I did get a lot of books and movies. I also got some snow boots from my dad, which will come in handy when we do actually get snow here.

Okay, must get ready for work.

Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated. xD I'm thinking about getting a Facebook, simply because people seem to use that a lot more than LJ. And also so I can play games and waste my time that way. But we'll see if I do end up getting one or not.

Ummm, let's see! The 28th was the Lady Gaga concert at the Pepsi Center, which was in a word: awesome. I had a good time, my friends seemed like they had a good time, and it was great to just dance to some good pop music.

I started a diet on the 26th; I think it's going pretty well! It's one of those diets that make you eat five or six times a day, which is something I'm still struggling with. Normally I eat two meals a day. So I've pretty much cut out all of the snacks they tell you to eat, since I feel full pretty much all of the time. I've also forgotten to eat breakfast most of the days since I started, but hopefully I'll start to get into the habit of doing that. [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] has been awesome in helping me with the diet; she's been cooking dinner for me and helping me keep on track. [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] also hooked up the Wii Fit for me, so I'm going to try and get up early to use that for at least half an hour every morning.

Work has been one pain in the ass after another. There's so much drama going on at the office right now; it's been a challenge to muster up the energy to even face it every day. One of my coworkers is an idiot, but when everyone complains about her to our boss, we're suddenly "picking on her" and "ganging up on her." In my opinion, if a lot of people complain about this particular woman, shouldn't that show that something is obviously wrong with the way she works? My boss is sacrificing the office morale for the sake of one person, and it's pissing me off. I've decided I'm done with all of that stuff-- I'm going to go in, do my work, and go home; hopefully I'll be able to skirt a lot of the stuff that's going on.

Sheena is also having a party on the 7th, and I honestly don't want to go now after everything that's happened in the last week. But, I already agreed to go, and I'm hoping it won't be as bad as I think. We'll see how I feel on Saturday, though.

My sister is home from CU for about a week or so; we're going to go have lunch tomorrow. Hopefully things will be better between us now than they were on my birthday. xD We did manage to have a civilized conversation on Sunday, when I went over to my parent's home for breakfast before my dad and I took a bike ride.

School starts on the 23rd, which will be nice. I won't feel so lazy every day when I get home from work, as long as I have a class to look forward to. I'm only taking Meteorology and then I'll finally be done at Front Range, so I'm hoping that I'll do well.

Other than that, not much has been going on. Just replaying some old video games and getting through a few books in my stack.

So, I went and took Doodles to the vet today. She needed to have a vaccination, a general exam and a fecal test. She seems to be fine for the most part, but she does have an eye AND ear(s) infection. Poor baby. It's bad enough having one; I can't imagine having an infection in both my ears and my eye at the same time. Giving her the medicine for this is incredibly painful for all parties involved, and she's totally mad at both me and [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] right now. xD

Because of the extra medication and stuff, the bill for her visit ended up being almost $160. And I have to take her back in two weeks so they can make sure she's doing okay. :| Having a pet isn't cheap, man.

Speaking of money, I was productive and did more of my holiday shopping! I finished up my mother, Ana, and Nic, and started on Gerardo. So, that just leaves him, my dad, my sister, Shannon, Joe, Kira, and my Secret Santa to shop for. :D I'm definitely proud of myself. We'll see how much money I have left after I finish everything, though.

Oh, that reminds me! [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com], I went ahead and authorized the transfer yesterday, I think... either yesterday or Thursday. According to PayPal, I should have the money in there by the 7th. So, I'll transfer it as soon as it shows up, okay? <3

It's been a long day, so I think it's bedtime.

I haven't really updated in a long time. D: So, in case anyone's interested... here you go!

My birthday's come and gone, and it was mostly fun. I had a dinner with my friends on the 6th, since I was going to be in Boulder on my actual birthday. Everyone seemed to have a good time. :D Gerardo, Nic, Shannon, Kira, Jackie and myself ended up staying until Old C's closed because we were having fun talking to each other.

I went to see Regina Spektor with my sister on my birthday, and that was mostly fun. We did get into a fight early on in the night, however, and that made everything after that kind of awkward. It was over the stupidest thing, too, but... oh well.

School-wise. I ended up dropping Astronomy, since I couldn't learn anything from my online class. Which means I'm not graduating this semester. Instead, I'm going to take Meteorology and graduate in the spring (hopefully). Now we're on Thanksgiving break, which will be incredibly welcome.

I got Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles on Wednesday, but couldn't start playing it until Thursday night. I'm really happy that they were able to get back a lot of the actors to play their characters again, especially Leon's and Claire's. I mean, Alyson is the only one to have played Claire in English, so it would have been awkward to hear anyone else. I beat it last night, so now I'm going through and trying to find all of the files I missed the first time around.

Supernatural is going to kill me. :| No new episodes until January 21st? Augh! This last one ended so memorably, too. I don't know what I'm going to do if the CW does end up renewing it for a sixth season. Where can they possibly go from what's been going on in season five?

Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance." I can't stop listening to it. :|

Okay, I think that's everything. And have a meme, courtesy of [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]! :D

( Click click. )

Oh man. I am so unbelievably tired. I went to bed at 10:30 last night, had trouble falling asleep, and woke up at 3 a.m. Finally got up at 5 and headed into work at 6:30, where I had a really stressful day. xD Even with that extra hour and a half, with no lunch, I still didn't get everything done that I wanted to. Although, I did finish about six days of retail today, so that was pretty awesome.

Supernatural starts officially next month! I'm very excited for season five, although I'll be down in Denver for NDK when it premieres.

Oh yeah! [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] and I saw this guy playing the trumpet in his car while driving today. Not only was he a retard, but he was also a douchebag. xD We tried to get a picture of it but we couldn't see the guy clearly in it.

Red vs. Blue is slowly taking over my life again. It's been nice getting back into the fandom (and actually seeing the majority of the series) after so many years of being away from it.

Also, I'm never trusting my dad and anything he says again. Ever.

I hope I don't feel so angry at people before the week is over.

Though, it's more of a personal/emotional nature, rather than a physical one. :D

I honestly feel like I was a shitty person during the 3+ years that I was in deep depression, and I'm surprised that my friends who went through that with me are still my friends. I think that the ones that are still with me know how deeply sorry I feel about it, and I think that'll haunt me for the rest of my life. It's something that I've been having to live with (and feel guilty over) ever since I got out of therapy back in September.

It's only now, after over six months of being out of therapy and facing up to my problems, that I realize that now is the time to fix things. I think that having certain people in my life during that difficult time would have helped me immensely, and I'm very sad that they're not a part of my life anymore. But now is the time to make amends, and reach out to them.

So, good job me! I started the ball rolling with two people that I've been missing very dearly. <3 I hope that this will turn out to be a positive thing. I think that this will continue the healing process and journey that I've been on for a long time. Even if the responses I get back aren't positive, at least I know that I can make peace with the fact that I tried to right some of the wrongs I've committed.

And on that note... time to go watch a little bit of Dawn of the Dead!

Dear [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com],
I don't really know how to tell you this, but I dislike you.
I think I realized it when your dog ran amok in your camping car and I saw you sit at my best friend.
I'm sure you're ashamed enough to understand that Extreme Home Makeover sucks .
I'm returning your ring to you, but I'll keep your photo as a memory.
You should also know that I will tell the authorities about a new life as a clone .
Go burn,
[Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]

( The how-to! )

So, in other news, I actually spent a day with my sister! And it was fun. :o I may end up being her date to a wedding... We spent a lot of the day at Centerra, and ended up watching Lars and the Real Girl. SUCH a good movie. Ryan Gosling is so cute~ <3

At Centerra, I bought the Anime Legends collection of Cowboy Bebop (for only $40!) and some books (including World War Z).

And I was really happy! My Aucifer CD came today! *squees* Besides a few weird songs, I'm really impressed with them. <3 It was totally worth the buy, I think.

And yeah... I have all of these memes I took from [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com], but I don't know if I'll post them. xD; I may end up doing it anyway, since I already did half the work.

So, whee. A lot's been going on lately!

Ummm... my 21st birthday was on the 7th, so I had a fun time drinking seriously. I had about 5 or 6... I've discovered that I don't really like vodka that much. xD But yeah, I could still walk straight, all that... my speech was just a little slurry. So, I guess that I can hold my liquor pretty well.

My parents also left for Mexico on the 11th... so that leaves me with an empty house. Luckily, Shannon's staying over with me so I don't feel lonely. And last night, her, Ana and myself had a sleepover. Awesome times. x3

But the BIGGEST thing that happened today was that Debbie called me this morning. I was tangled up in my sheets so I couldn't get to the phone, and she left me a voicemail telling me to call her. When I did, she offered me the job I applied for! :D So, I officially start at 8 a.m. on the 26th, which still gives me Thanksgiving Break off. I'm so excited! x3

Add a shower and some ice cream to that mix, and it's been a pretty sweet couple of days. <3