Into the unknown

It's been almost two months since my last post! How time flies...

Nothing much has been going on. Work and school have taken over my life, which is fine. I like being busy, and I'm doing really well at CSU so far. I have A's in all of my classes so far, so hopefully that continues!

I'm feeling a lot better, now that I've had my freak out. Wednesday night I treated myself to a movie, but then broke down when I got home and cried out some of the frustration and sadness I've been feeling over the past year. I feel more like myself now, and I've decided that I'm not going to use what has happened to me regarding my parents as a crutch anymore.

I think I'm going to try and take up a few more hobbies, if I have time. I told Michi that I want to start taking singing lessons again, which is true. I also want to look into doing some horseback riding again, or maybe I'll find something completely new! I want to start yoga and meditation again, as well. I don't know where I'm going to find the time to do this, but I will find a way! Maybe I will be able to make some new friends along the way.

I think I'm going to take up my entry title as one of my two personal mantras. I'm tired of being unhappy with myself, and I will start to remember that I can choose how I feel each day.

Anyway, Shannon found this 30 day meme relating to Resident Evil that she wants me to post. Hopefully it will encourage me to post more often, since I have been really bad about that during the past few years.

( 30 day meme! )

/is late jumping on the bandwagon

www.colorquiz.com

( Results underneath... )

Ohai there hormones. Thanks so much for making me have mood swings.

I swear, I've been up and down the gamut of emotions over the past two days. Totally making a big eye about it.

...And that's terrible.

Yesterday was a busy day for me! I'm not really used to that. I went on a bike ride with my dad in the morning, and found a cookbook and a new spare comforter. Then I went down to LotP in the afternoon and got made up like a zombie, in order to walk around NewWest Fest and promote the zombie crawl that's happening on October 23rd. That was both fun and exhausting, even though I got a bad sunburn on my shoulders and back. xD A bunch of people thought I was actually injured, and one guy thought I had AIDS. In the evening, [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] went shopping for new clothes and then went to Old C's with her dad.

Last night I had the worst trouble sleeping. I'd wake up every two to three hours on account of my sunburn hurting like a mofo. At about 4 I decided to just get up and go to the store since I needed things. I feel bad, since I woke Joe up when I was putting my stuff away in the freezer. xD But he doesn't work today, so it's not as bad as it could be.

School starts tomorrow, which will be nice. That way I can get it over with, instead of dreading it. Other than that, nothing has really been going on.

Wow, it's been a long time since I've updated. xD I'm thinking about getting a Facebook, simply because people seem to use that a lot more than LJ. And also so I can play games and waste my time that way. But we'll see if I do end up getting one or not.

Ummm, let's see! The 28th was the Lady Gaga concert at the Pepsi Center, which was in a word: awesome. I had a good time, my friends seemed like they had a good time, and it was great to just dance to some good pop music.

I started a diet on the 26th; I think it's going pretty well! It's one of those diets that make you eat five or six times a day, which is something I'm still struggling with. Normally I eat two meals a day. So I've pretty much cut out all of the snacks they tell you to eat, since I feel full pretty much all of the time. I've also forgotten to eat breakfast most of the days since I started, but hopefully I'll start to get into the habit of doing that. [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] has been awesome in helping me with the diet; she's been cooking dinner for me and helping me keep on track. [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] also hooked up the Wii Fit for me, so I'm going to try and get up early to use that for at least half an hour every morning.

Work has been one pain in the ass after another. There's so much drama going on at the office right now; it's been a challenge to muster up the energy to even face it every day. One of my coworkers is an idiot, but when everyone complains about her to our boss, we're suddenly "picking on her" and "ganging up on her." In my opinion, if a lot of people complain about this particular woman, shouldn't that show that something is obviously wrong with the way she works? My boss is sacrificing the office morale for the sake of one person, and it's pissing me off. I've decided I'm done with all of that stuff-- I'm going to go in, do my work, and go home; hopefully I'll be able to skirt a lot of the stuff that's going on.

Sheena is also having a party on the 7th, and I honestly don't want to go now after everything that's happened in the last week. But, I already agreed to go, and I'm hoping it won't be as bad as I think. We'll see how I feel on Saturday, though.

My sister is home from CU for about a week or so; we're going to go have lunch tomorrow. Hopefully things will be better between us now than they were on my birthday. xD We did manage to have a civilized conversation on Sunday, when I went over to my parent's home for breakfast before my dad and I took a bike ride.

School starts on the 23rd, which will be nice. I won't feel so lazy every day when I get home from work, as long as I have a class to look forward to. I'm only taking Meteorology and then I'll finally be done at Front Range, so I'm hoping that I'll do well.

Other than that, not much has been going on. Just replaying some old video games and getting through a few books in my stack.

Wasabi post is going to come in a bit, even though there's not that much to post about.

In other news, I know I'm going to jinx myself for saying this, but I think I'm finally almost back to normal. After, what, 4 years of depression and social anxiety? I've noticed that I haven't had a bad day in quite a long time... probably six to nine months, at least. Even though I don't feel the full spectrum of emotions like I think a normal person should, I've finally started to accept that it's okay that I don't. It doesn't mean that I'm any less normal than someone walking down the street. While I notice that I am bracing myself for if/when the other shoe drops, I'm starting to worry less and less about it.

I think my day can be summed up in about six words: I had a good day today. Even after it got off to a rocky start.

Not a lot has been going on lately! Just school and work, for the most part. xD Oh, and trying to get ready for Wasabi, which is next week. Craaaazy. It'll be nice to get away from Fort Collins for a while, even though I'm not too excited about the convention itself. Since I never do anything related to the con anyway, it's just a chance for me to do what I feel like. I am looking forward to seeing the band play, though. That'll probably be the highlight of the weekend.

I'm trying not to sweat the small stuff. I think I've been letting too many small things bother me lately, and it's had an impact on my health, especially my sleep. I read something yesterday and it made me ridiculously happy. xD Kind of sad that the little things can do that, but... well, I think that I just need to take those feelings when I get them, since I don't get them too often.

Oh, yeah. I think it's sad that in order to get up at 6:45, I need to wake up at 5:00. Which is what I did this morning. Sob.

So, on to the fandom notes! xD

The CW has chosen to renew Supernatural for another season, which will be the last one. Of course, I'm happy that we fans get another season, as I'm not ready to part with the show yet. But, really... where can you go after this season ends? Especially if the writers aren't going to stretch the apocalypse out into season six? I've heard that they want to go back to the feel and style of season one. But, I personally think that would be kind of a letdown after the epic!storylines we've had for the last few seasons. Oh well. I'll watch the beginning of season six and decide from there.

Resident Evil. Oh man, I spend way too much money for this game franchise. xD First, I needed to buy a wireless adapter for my 360, since I couldn't connect the Ethernet cable to the modem/router. That cost $100.00 alone. Then I had to buy a gold membership for my 360 account, and 1000 points to download the new content that was released. So, that's another $21.00 right there. But it was so worth it. To me, the story of Resident Evil is the story of Chris and Jill, so I was happy to play as them again. More new content should be coming out soon, which will be awesome. And "Lost in Nightmares" had the Itchy Tasty file! xD A truncated version, yes, but... still. So awesome.

I think that's everything. Time to go take a shower and get ready for work.

School's been going okay for me so far! My Accounting class ends next week, which is kind of sad. It's been my favorite one so far, and I'm doing really well in it. I got my third test back today and I got a 100% on it. But, I now have Astronomy to look forward to, along with Art History and Comparative Religion.

On a totally unrelated note, to the point of my post. xD So, [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] has a coworker at the gas station named Anthony. I've met him a few times (mostly whenever we've gone in there on her days off) and he's a pretty funny guy. She told me about some of the times he's gone in there on his own days off, when she was working. Apparently he's taken quite an interest in me and told her that he was going to ask me out. I thought "Well, whatever, I'm never going to see him when he's not working, so I don't need to worry about him asking me out."

Yeah. That all changed tonight. xD I stopped in there after I got out of my classes, since [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] was bored and wanted me to come see her. And, Anthony happened to be there at the same time. He'd had a few beers and ended up asking me out for dinner AND breakfast. I tried to turn him down as gently as I could, since all of the days he has off I have other things going on (school, work, etc). He was like "Awww, I feel hurt. But I can tell a no when it's a no. But, just think about it."

I'm flattered that he liked something about me enough to ask me to dinner. xD But, he's in his mid forties to early fifties and smokes/drinks quite a bit. Even if he wasn't old enough to be my dad, I probably wouldn't have said yes. Smoking is something that I find incredibly unattractive; and ever since the whole alcohol thing with my dad, I feel very uncomfortable if I'm around a lot of alcohol or someone who drinks a lot.

So, yeah. That's that.

I'm tired now. Time to go read for a bit.

I have nothing else to do until I go to work in about fifteen minutes, so I'll make a quick LJ post. I've been trying to wake up earlier than my usual time; the plan is that I'm going to try and walk/jog/whatever for an hour before work, since that's really the only time I can do it. I think that the exercise will be good for me; my boss works out before she comes to work and she's always chipper. xD

I've been so unmotivated about exercising, though. At least I haven't gained any weight back, and I went down a size in clothes. :D Still at 12 pounds lost, which is really great. I think I'd be more eager to do something, if I had an iPod or some other kind of music player that I can use while I do it. However, money's been really tight lately. I think I'm going to have a little bit left over when I get paid on the 5th... but that's going towards pre-reg for NDK, the rest of my stuff for Setsuka and hopefully Maria, and things I need like food and gas.

I'm also considering just canceling the cable that we have. :| I think that I can count how many times I've actually watched TV with my fingers and still have a few left over. I don't really believe that I should keep paying for something that I'm not using, and it'd be an extra $10 a month that I'd save. I guess that I should talk to [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] and see if she'd mind paying for it, since she watches TV the most out of the three of us. But, since her sister's here, I don't really want to talk to her about money stuff until her family leaves.

On a brighter note, school is almost done with! I've gotten straight B's so far, and I'm really proud of myself. Class technically ends on the 6th, but if we pass the final project on the 4th, we don't need to take the final exam. x3 And then I get a small break before school starts for me again on the 25th. It won't be as bad, since I decided to drop Astronomy. I'm only taking three classes, and one of them ends on October 8th.

Work has also been going better. I've gotten a little more used to working at the front again, even though we get some really weird calls. xD Bobbie's getting surgery on August 20th, though. So I'll be working the front desk full-time until she hopefully comes back on the 31st. That'll be interesting, needless to say.

I've been feeling really irrationally angry lately. Maybe it's because I don't get as much sleep as I need. But either way, every day I wind up feeling so angry all the time. xD I really hope that goes away soon...

Bawww. I guess that I had better get to work now.

This meme was taken from [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]~

( Meme under hurre )

Okay, with that out of the way... I have a question. I think a few people know that I'm seriously going to start trying to lose weight. Which means that I'm going to join a gym, get as much exercise as I can, cut down on food, etc. I was thinking earlier how things like looking good in a cosplay outfit, looking and being healthier, etc. may not be enough of an incentive to lose the amount of weight that I'm aiming for. So... I decided that once I reach my goal, or get close to it, I was going to take a trip. I was thinking of going someplace out of the country; maybe London. If I can get there, would anyone be interested in taking this trip with me? I think it would be sad to see all of these cool things without someone there to share it with. I've been looking into travel sites, and a hotel and flight is only like... an average of $700 per person right now. If no one wants to take me up on this offer, that's totally fine. :D I just thought it would be a cool thing to see if anyone would be interested in traveling with me. And you've got time to set aside money and all that; it's not like I would lose all of these pounds in a matter of months. xD; But, yeah. That's my question.

I'm going to start work on my taxes now.